The side by side sex position: lazy, close and hot

Picture spooning, then turn one of you round so you're face to face. That's it. You both lie on your sides, chests and bellies touching, and one partner drapes their top leg over the other's hip. That simple leg hook opens things up so you can slide together, grind or touch. Some people call it face to face spooning or the lazy lovers' position, and both names fit perfectly.

The side by side sex position works for penetrative sex, but it's just as hot for rubbing against each other, mutual touching or holding a small vibrator between you. Nobody is on top, so nobody is in charge. You meet in the middle, rock together and share the work, which is a big reason couples who try it keep coming back to it.

It's also the easiest position to slip into from a cuddle. You're already lying there, already wrapped up, and a hug can turn into something much hornier without anyone needing to climb on, roll over or announce what's happening. On sleepy mornings or shy nights, that easy start is gold.

Lie on your sides facing each other, close enough to kiss. The partner being entered lifts their top leg and rests it over their partner's hip or thigh. The penetrating partner shuffles a little lower down the bed so their hips line up, which matters more than you'd think. Use plenty of lube, guide things in with a hand, and start with tiny movements.

Don't expect long, deep thrusts here. The side by side sex position is all about short strokes, slow rocking and grinding your hips in circles. Hold each other's bum or lower back to pull closer. Your bottom arms can be the awkward bit, so slide one under your partner's neck or tuck it under the pillow instead of trapping it beneath you. If the angle feels off, try these quick fixes:

• Have the penetrating partner move lower so their hips sit just below yours.
• Lift the top leg higher, resting it on their waist rather than their thigh.
• Lean your shoulders slightly apart while keeping your hips pressed together.
• Put a flat pillow under the bottom partner's hip to tilt the pelvis.

Honestly, it might be the champion of lazy sex positions. Neither of you holds your own weight, nobody's arms are shaking and nobody is doing squats. You can stay joined for ages, pause to kiss, talk dirty in each other's ear, then start moving again. It's the position for hangovers, Sunday mornings and the end of very long days. Lazy doesn't mean boring. Slow sex lets arousal build in waves, and the constant skin contact keeps you both turned on even when you're barely moving. Many people find they last longer here, which is great news if you'd like the fun to go on and on.

Try this tonight: get into position, then agree that neither of you is allowed to thrust for the first two minutes. Only grinding, kissing and squeezing. The anticipation alone will have you both desperate. It's also a great choice when one of you is less mobile, recovering from illness, or just not feeling very athletic. Sex doesn't need to be a workout to be good. Some of the hottest sex happens when nobody is trying to impress anyone and you can simply enjoy each other.

Any face to face sex position puts eye contact, kissing and whispering right at the centre, and lying on your sides makes it even closer. Your noses are inches apart. You can watch your partner's face change as they get more turned on, hear every breath and feel their heart beating against your chest.

That closeness is a turn-on in itself. Feeling wanted, seeing desire on someone's face and being kissed while you move can be as arousing as any clever technique. For a lot of people, especially those who need to feel relaxed to get wet or hard, this kind of intimacy is exactly what helps their body respond. If eye contact feels intense, that's normal. Close your eyes, bury your face in their neck, or keep the lights low. You don't have to stare. Simply being this close says plenty.

Want to dial it up? Whisper what you love about how they feel, or tell them exactly what you want next. Dirty talk lands differently when your lips are right against someone's ear. Keep it simple and honest. A breathy you feel so good, or don't stop, can push both of you higher than any fancy line. The side by side sex position makes this kind of murmured, close-up talk feel completely natural.

It can be brilliant, especially for anyone with a clitoris. Because your bodies are pressed together, rocking and grinding gives steady pressure to the clit and vulva rather than fast in-and-out strokes. Lots of people need that kind of consistent, rhythmic contact to come, and this position delivers it without anyone needing to hold an awkward angle.

There's also room for hands. Either of you can reach down and stroke the clit or the base of the penis, and a small bullet vibe fits neatly between your bodies. Most people with a vulva need direct clitoral touch to orgasm, so adding fingers or a toy isn't cheating, it's smart. For the partner with a penis, the shallow strokes focus sensation on the head, which is the most sensitive part. If you tend to come quickly, the slow pace helps you hold off. If you need more, squeeze tighter together and rock faster.

If you're searching for sex positions for a bad back, side-lying ones are often the first that physiotherapists suggest. Your spine stays supported by the mattress, nobody takes weight through their arms and the movement is small. The side by side sex position lets you keep things gentle and stop easily if something twinges.

Back pain isn't all the same, though. Researchers at the University of Waterloo in Canada used motion tracking to study couples' spines during sex and found the best position depends on what kind of movement sets your pain off. If bending forward hurts, keep your spine long and let your hips do the moving. If arching hurts, curl forward slightly and tuck a pillow behind you.

Simple supports help everyone. Put a pillow between your knees or under your waist, keep the bottom leg straight and move from the hips rather than the lower back. If pain is persistent or getting worse, see a GP or physio rather than pushing through.

Once you're comfy on your sides, there are loads of side sex positions to play with. Each one changes the angle, the depth or how much of your bodies touch. Swap between them without fully breaking contact and you'll have a slow, sexy session that never stops moving.

• Spooning: both face the same way, with one behind. Easier entry, deeper feel and hands free to play with the clit or nipples.
• The lazy cross: the receiver lies on their back, legs over the partner who lies on their side. Great angle, still low effort.
• Leg up high: the receiver lifts their top leg towards their chest for slightly deeper penetration.
• Wrapped up: both partners hook a leg over each other and grind, perfect for rubbing without penetration.

Mix and match depending on mood. Spooning is cosy and deep, while the face to face version keeps kissing on the menu.

The scissors position is a side-lying favourite that's often linked with vulva-on-vulva sex, though anyone can try it. Lie on your sides and interlock your legs like two open pairs of scissors, so your genitals press together. Then rock, grind and push your hips into each other. It's all friction and rhythm.

For penetrative sex, a scissor version works well too. The receiving partner lies on their back with their legs angled to the side, while the penetrating partner lies on their side at a slight angle and slides between their legs. It feels different, tighter and a bit naughty, and both of you still have a hand free. Lube helps with every scissor variation, and so does patience. It can take a few goes to find the angle where you both feel the pressure in the right places. Laugh, adjust and try again.

If you're lying face to face and fancy a change, you can slide from the side by side sex position into scissors without separating. The receiving partner rolls onto their back while the other stays on their side, and you simply readjust your legs. Smooth switches like this keep the heat going.

The biggest mistake is lining up shoulders instead of hips. If you're the same height lying down, the penetrating partner usually needs to slide lower. The second is expecting deep, pounding thrusts. This position simply isn't built for that, and fighting it only leads to slipping out and frustration. Another common issue is the trapped bottom arm going numb. Put it under the pillow, around your partner's neck, or roll slightly onto your back. Finally, don't skip lube or warm-up. The angle means less help from gravity, so being properly wet or well lubed makes a huge difference.

Keep talking too. A quick lower, slower or just like that keeps things feeling amazing.

Absolutely, and it's one of the easiest positions for it. Because your bodies are pressed together face to face, a small bullet vibrator or a wearable couples' toy can sit right on the clit while you grind. Both of you feel the buzz, and nobody needs to reach round at an awkward angle. A vibrating cock ring works well too, adding vibration at the base of the penis and against the vulva with every rock of your hips.

If you'd rather keep it hands-on, slide a hand between you and stroke the clit or the base of the penis while you move. Take turns being in charge of the toy or the hand. One partner controls speed and pressure, the other just lies back and enjoys it, then swap. Use plenty of water-based lube with silicone toys, and clean them after use. Small, flat toys are best in the side by side sex position, because bulky ones get in the way when you're this close.